Will I Be Next?

It’s 2020, and I’m scared. I see people that look like me getting targeted because others think we are carriers of a global pandemic. I see the increase of hate crimes, the stories of other Asian Americans being beaten, spit at, burned, maced, and threatened. Will this happen to me? I’m scared when I see Trump signs; signs which support white supremacy, encourage the use of “China virus/plague”, and promote violence towards Asian Americans.

“It’s you people who brought the disease,”

“Run them over.”

 “Death to dog eaters”

“Leave and die”

I’m scared I’ll wake up to burns and bruises along my body, that I’ll have to stumble out of my bed and move slowly because my ethnicity is being scapegoated. Blue, yellow, and purple scattered along my face, arms, and legs. What will I see when I look into my mirror? A black eye? A busted lip?

I am putting up walls. I have to so I can protect myself against emotional abuse, physical violence, and white supremacy. I’m doing it alone because I don’t know how to tell people that will never understand it. I see the death threats towards Asian Americans, and I’m scared for them and myself. Who will help us?

I see the increase of hate crimes worldwide, the stories of other Asians being beaten, spit at, burned, maced, and threatened. Will this happen to me? Will white people just watch and not do anything? Will I be alone if it happens? Will I freeze? Scream? Fight back? Who will I call? The people that are targeting Asian Americans don’t see people like me as people. They see us like a virus, a disease, something that could kill them. Will I be next?

By Zabrina Richards

@inmyownwordsasianyouth